History (2022)


a woman sits at a cinema in Jongro
a familiar face emerges from a blue screen
Leslie Cheung embodies a queer Chinese opera singer
the woman fails at the interpretation
unversed in a Cultural Revolution

when we first talked about this film
you handed a woman a film critique book based on Chinese history
a warmth of emotion enables the present
maybe it is a gesture for the beginning of love
the act of giving your history to another

open the history book for a glimpse of a little scare:
father hitting mother, fresh bladder that leaks, a cat swallowing pesticide, a hole in your grandmother’s tongue

the depth of the gaze is as deep as the abyss of revolution,
your
grayish blue dark circle is becoming more vivid
grandmother cannot see due to worsening glaucoma
a woman with a UTI struggles so she cannot even fall into sleep

after 319 days have passed, the familiar ending credit rolls upward
your mother tongue
the woman still cannot differentiate Cantonese and Mandarin
a custodian forces the woman to leave the theatre

though the woman does not see her future
she leads the way to a soy sauce eggplant dish
holding your translucent hand

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